Kat and I have been regularly swimming this summer and it has been exactly what I need.
It forces me to slow down. My breathing is slower. I can’t talk or listen to music. I am forced to focus on moving through the water. I can only see the white concrete that is under me.
I am learning to focus on the present moment. Not on past failures or fearfully contemplate what lies ahead. Instead of anxiously planning my days out, stuffing them full of busy activities, I am learning to let them unfold on their own.
I am being taught to focus on living the present.
Ann Vokscamp helped me understand rest in One Thousand Gifts.
She writes, “Wherever you are, be all there. I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive.”
This is what I have always done. However, I am learning that I am enough. I don’t have to go scampering around, exhausted, looking for merit badges to cover me up. Nothing I grab for will ever fully satisfy me, and nothing I do will ever add up. It’s all God. He makes me more than enough.
I am learning to let my striving cease and just be.